Why You Should Hire A Wedding Planner First Thing After You Get Engaged! | Laura Brezel

Kevin Dennis (0:0.724)

All right, folks, welcome to another episode of Now That I'm Engaged, How Do I Get Married? We have, obviously, our co-host August is always with us, but we have the amazing Laura Bresl. So thank you, Laura, for being with us today.

Laura Brezel (0:12.661)

Thank you, Kevin and August. I'm really excited to be here. Thanks for having me.

Kevin Dennis (0:16.157)

We're excited to talk to you too. So first, before we get going, can you tell us a little bit about Laura and how did we get Laura here today?

Laura Brezel (0:24.785)

Yes, well, Kevin, you and I know each other from beautiful, beautiful associations like the Tri-Valley Wedding Pros and WIPA. we have been wanting to do this for a while. I am also based in the San Francisco Bay Area. My company is OhFrabjustDayEvents. You can contact me and ask me what that means in case you don't know. And I work primarily with LGBTQIA plus folks, but I am

and thrilled to work with all equality-minded couples. And I'm here to make their day the most fabulous and to make them feel like honored guests at their own wedding.

Kevin Dennis (1:5.556)

All right, I've always wanted to know what your business name meant and I asked. So since you said, I'm going to ask, what does it mean? I'm going to put you on the spot.

Laura Brezel (1:11.733)

Oh, fantastic, I can do this.

August Yocher (1:13.782)

This is him contacting you right now to get the explanation.

Laura Brezel (1:17.119)

I love it, I love it. So Lewis Carroll wrote a companion book to Alice in Wonderland called Through the Looking Glass. And in it, Alice has to hold up this poem called Jabberwocky, which is printed backwards to a mirror. The poem Jabberwocky is about a father who is so afraid that his son will be killed by the monster, but the son goes off into the woods, vanquishes the monster and comes back with its head. And then the father says, oh, frab just day because it is the best.

August Yocher (1:23.640)

Mm-hmm.

Laura Brezel (1:46.655)

day ever. And that's where that comes from.

Kevin Dennis (1:50.996)

I absolutely love that. That is bit more than beautiful.

August Yocher (1:51.288)

That's beautiful. I like the way that you said vanquished.

Laura Brezel (1:53.757)

I get a lot of nerdy clients. Well, it's true. mean, it's part of, sometime when we've all had, I don't know, longer time, more drinks, I will recite the whole poem for you, but I think that's not today.

August Yocher (2:6.254)

We'll have to have you back then, because I would love to see that.

Laura Brezel (2:8.007)

Anytime. It's a party trick, right?

Kevin Dennis (2:12.017)

We definitely would have to be drinking when we do that one. So. All right, so we're here to talk about why should you hire a planner first right after you get engaged? So we're going to jump right in and we're going to start with that question, Laura. So why should we hire a planner first?

Laura Brezel (2:14.627)

Sure.

August Yocher (2:14.796)

Mm-hmm.

Laura Brezel (2:29.161)

Great, well, chances are if you're getting married, this is maybe your first time pledging your love for somebody in front of a hundred of your nearest and dearest people, right? And then throwing the largest fanciest party you can imagine. So hiring a professional planner is gonna save you time and money and stress so that you can focus on the joyful part.

August Yocher (2:52.686)

Great. And then can you walk us through your process? So let's say, you know, we are recording on Valentine's Day, just thought I would bring that up. But let's say someone, hey, hey, hey, let's say someone gets engaged today and they contact you, they wanna have a wedding plan before they get into, you know, too deep into the planning. Walk us through your process. What are some of the first things that you're gonna help the couple with?

Laura Brezel (3:3.797)

You

Laura Brezel (3:18.921)

That's great. Yeah, initially I like to start with the big picture in three areas. This is even before we sign a contract, like on the initial call, so that I can understand what they want and make sure that I'm the best fit for them. First is vision. So what do want your wedding to look like? How do you want to feel? Not everybody needs to have a complete like design or vision of that, but they can express things that they really want or maybe something that they really don't want. And then on feeling, most people say some version of

August Yocher (3:31.618)

Mm-hmm.

Laura Brezel (3:47.155)

I want to feel happy. I want to feel present. I want to not worry about all the details. So the next thing is people. Who do you want to invite? You start with the people you absolutely can't get married without and then you build from there. Knowing if this is like, oh, it's going to be 50 people at a restaurant or 250 people in a field in the middle of nowhere. Those are really important things to know because those are way different events. And then also if it's a challenge for them, if like guest list is a thing,

August Yocher (3:58.924)

Mm-hmm.

Laura Brezel (4:16.275)

I like to suggest that they invite the people that they would like to invite to their home for dinner in five years.

August Yocher (4:24.312)

Mmm.

Kevin Dennis (4:25.274)

I like that.

Laura Brezel (4:25.287)

And it really, that really helps people sometimes to get a little perspective on that. I mean, there are 8 billion people you're not inviting to your wedding. So, you know.

August Yocher (4:31.808)

No, I haven't heard it put that way. I have heard the one where it's like, oh, if you haven't physically seen them in a year or text to them or talk to them. mean, family's a little bit different, but friends, that's kind of a good way. But I like the future thing too, because sometimes it's like, well, yes, they're a big part of my life right now, but I may switch jobs, I may move, and maybe we won't be as close.

Laura Brezel (4:58.035)

Right, like that friend at work that you see every day. Would they still be your friend? I don't know. They're good questions to ask.

August Yocher (5:3.778)

I mean, it's proximity too, you know, but that's a great way to put it.

Laura Brezel (5:5.951)

Totally. Yeah. Also the third thing that I think is really important to touch on in the very beginning of planning is budget. How much can you realistically spend on this? Is anybody else contributing? And what does that look like? Are parents helping out? How much say do they want? And how much say do you want them to have? Those are not always the same answer. So I start with those three areas that kind of define what we're going to work on so that we can then get started on the details of the planning.

August Yocher (5:15.661)

Mm-hmm.

August Yocher (5:27.288)

Mm-hmm.

Kevin Dennis (5:36.244)

I love that. And I love that, you know, how much say are they going to have because there are some parents that think the wedding belongs to them and it's their wedding. Yeah. So, no, I love that. All right. So now we've gone through that first process and we're moving on and now we got to start hiring folks. So how do you take them through to start hiring creative partners and folks that they're going to be working with on the day of their wedding?

Laura Brezel (5:43.497)

Yeah. Yeah, that exists.

Laura Brezel (5:59.261)

Awesome, next steps. So I think it's really important to match vendors to the couple, not the other way around. I mean, don't get me wrong. I have a lot of vendors who I just love, who I want to work with all the time or folks that I know that I haven't worked with yet that I'm like, oh, we got to do a wedding together. But each vendor needs to have the right personality, service, and budget for that couple. I mean, for personality, like a couple should feel totally listened to by all of their vendors, but some of them, like the photographer,

August Yocher (6:6.786)

Mm-hmm.

August Yocher (6:21.774)

Mm-hmm.

Laura Brezel (6:28.989)

is going to be really, really involved with you on your wedding day. So you've got to feel really comfortable with that person. I mean, it's totally great if you love your caterer, but they're unlikely to see you in like various stages of undress. So it's a different relationship than it is with like your photographer and your planner. There's also knowing what a particular vendor will provide and if that's a good fit for the couple's vision. Like, for example, I had this recently, had a couple told me they wanted

August Yocher (6:39.948)

Mm-hmm.

Laura Brezel (6:58.771)

or got to a place where they wanted a dark blue four tiered cake with sharp gold art deco design. So I know that cake is gonna be more successful in fondant than in buttercream. So I'm gonna recommend a baker who is great at working with fondant. Now a couple may have tasted fondant at somebody else's wedding and been like, that was gross, I don't want that. But if you want your cake to look like that, just don't eat the fondant, it's fine. I think it's fine. But it's my job to ask those questions and make them match.

August Yocher (7:12.622)

Absolutely.

Laura Brezel (7:28.713)

to get them to the right vendor. And on budget, they haven't done this before probably. They don't know how much something should cost. So if I understand their overall budget, I'll match it with a vendor who's gonna provide the best value for what that vision is. Value is not always the same as price. So knowing what to look for in the proposal and not just a race to the bottom, which people talk about a lot, I think it's important to see how it's gonna fit that couple's wedding.

August Yocher (7:46.338)

Mm-hmm.

Kevin Dennis (7:57.980)

I think you brought up a good point. It's not always apples to apples when they're looking at people's proposals. So that's a good point. And then you also brought up to the photographer. I always tell my couples, you're going to spend more time with that photographer on the day of your wedding than you are anybody else. You got to need to make sure you really, really like that person. Cause I had a bride one time that came to me and grabbed me like by the arms. And she goes, Kevin, you need to do whatever you can to make sure the photographer is not near me or talks to me the rest of the wedding. And I was like,

Okay. And I was just didn't know it, you know, but it just something obviously went horrible wrong. I never, didn't even ask the question. I just ran interference the rest of the wedding. And so, and at the end she gave me big hug and thanked me for helping her and she was able to enjoy her wedding. But you're so right on, on, well, no.

Laura Brezel (8:43.304)

Oh my God.

August Yocher (8:44.760)

Well, and Kevin, when you brought up that story before, said to like, think about your relationship with the photographer or videographer doesn't end when the wedding ends because you still have to, you know, continue to communicate them to get those photo and video back. So make sure it is someone that you like because yes, not only is it, and you know, like when we talked with Adam, if you do an engagement shoot too. So you really are spending copious amounts of time with this creative partner.

Laura Brezel (9:13.141)

Totally. And engagement shoots are great ways for you to figure out if you're going to like them. Right? It's like a dress rehearsal in some ways. Yeah, that's exactly what he said actually. Yeah, no, it's, love, I love an engagement shoot.

August Yocher (9:18.093)

Right.

Yeah, that's exactly what he said actually. yeah, no, but I mean, but everything you said Laura is just like one of the reasons why you should hire a planner first because I mean, especially someone like you, you come with over 20 years of experience that's knowing, you know, different creative partners for 20 years, getting yourself into situations and learning and just having someone who can easily make those recommendations and know exactly what you need.

is just gonna take so much stress. Just like, let me go to Google and try to figure this out. Like you have someone guiding you.

Laura Brezel (9:55.253)

Great.

like this is a photographer they seem fine maybe I mean great there are a lot of really great photographers but if you don't know how that's gonna fit with what your vision is and what they really do you're just gonna have a harder time and you're gonna waste your time and get more stressed out about it

Kevin Dennis (: 10:14

Yeah, and I agree. Even like we say that in our company about DJs, it's about finding the right personality. You know, we all can do it. We're all going to we have all the same equipment. We have all the same music. You know, how do you mesh with that person? You know, so, yeah, I I agree with you.

Laura Brezel (: 10:25

Right. Totally.

August Yocher (: 10:35

So, we want to know, I know we kind of went into a little bit, but I kind of want to dig even deeper. can you help your couples find vendors? Oh, sorry. Carrie, Carrie, Carrie. We're going to dig a little bit deeper. So, how can hiring a planner early help couples save even more time, even more money, and even more stress?

Laura Brezel (: 10:59

Oh yeah, great. That's why we're here. I mean, as a planner, I know what you need to do and when you need to do it. So you start, as I said, with your vision, guest list, and budget, right? Those three things are going to dictate your venue choice, and then we can move on from there into the rest of your vendors. And look, wedding planning is after all just project management with emotions, right? So what I like to do is I'll give couples a personalized schedule, and we're doing certain steps each month.

and then everything happens in the right order at the right time. And that takes out a lot of the stress, a lot of the guesswork. And then you just say, oh, these are the decisions that I'm making in February. Great. Those are not the May decisions. That's fine. We're doing this now. Let me give you an example of having a planner with you versus not. Say you are engaged. So wonderful. You find a venue that you love. You love it. It's fantastic. See, it's 120. Sure. Perfect.

And then you go and make your guest list and it has 180 people on it. So that's either not your venue or some people are coming off that list. When you work with a planner, you don't have to waste your time getting stressed out and getting all sad that you found this venue that won't serve your needs. Cause we won't even send you there. We won't suggest that venue. Also, can I just a little shout out venue capacity that you see online or in lists is

probably the fire code, which is very important, but not necessarily a comfortable number for that space. I'd say as a general rule, I like to say 20 % under the stated capacity makes for a really comfortable party. But that's not something that a couple would necessarily know, right?

August Yocher (: 12:44

agree with that. One of the venues I used to work at, think what was advertised was like $3.30 or $3.20. But honestly, one of the last weddings that I worked there, we had it at $2.80 and it still felt like way too much. It was so packed. There wasn't enough walking around space and...

It was very hard for the banquet staff to kind of navigate their way through the tables during the dinner service. So I think that's also, I mean, if you have a planner, great, they can navigate that. But just for couples too, if you are venue searching, that's a great question to ask. Like I understand we technically could fit this many people, but are we actually going to be comfortable?

Laura Brezel (: 13:25

Right.

It's actually a really important thing to think about. mean, the other thing, and then we touched on this a little bit, just about having experience in relationships. As a planner, as all vendors, we have these existing relationships with other vendors, and there might be certain deals that your planner can get you. Now, I'm not talking about kickbacks, and I'm also not talking, which I think are unethical, actually. But I'm thinking about, and I also don't think about...

Kevin Dennis (: 13:51

Ehh

Laura Brezel (: 13:56

A planner's not gonna go and beg some vendor to make a, for a cheaper price, absolutely not. But what I'm talking about is that a baker who loves working with that planner so much that they'll throw in the delivery for free or a code that gets you 30 % off your invitation suite or something like that. I mean, those little things add up, but so does understanding like a couple's priorities and being like, okay, you actually need one photographer for eight hours, not two photographers for 12 hours.

August Yocher (14:9.016)

Mm-hmm.

August Yocher (: 14:15

Totally.

Laura Brezel (: 14:24

based on what you want. I mean, that's thousands of dollars that a couple might not know they could have saved that really, and no shade to photographers. mean, fantastic that we meet them there, but sometimes that's not what the couple's priorities are and they might not have known that. So they're not like hard and fast rules, but a planner is going to make suggestions based on what that couple has said they want.

August Yocher (: 14:27

Yeah.

Kevin Dennis (: 14:47

Yeah, they know the formula better than the actual creative partners themselves and even probably even better than the couple knows themselves, know, so they know how to find the right deal. I love that. All right.

August Yocher (: 14:59

Yeah, I also love when you brought up the personalized schedule for each month because I feel like that also really helps those type A couples that want to take control and just, you know, have to have things their way. But I'm a very type A person and I know that that would calm me down knowing that, oh my gosh, my planner actually laid it out in front of me and I can actually see when things are happening and I don't have to feel like we're forgetting anything like that.

definitely would take off a load of stress.

Laura Brezel (: 15:30

Yes, that is really kind of the point of having that structure so people can see, oh yeah, I'm gonna do this in February, I'm gonna do this in March. If I miss this one thing in February, I can do it in March and that's fine.

August Yocher (: 15:41

Yeah, that would make me just, yeah, way more comfortable, absolutely.

Laura Brezel (: 15:46

Good.

Kevin Dennis (: 15:48

All right, what advice do you have for couples that are feeling overwhelmed by all the choices? Because there's so many choices when you came. When my wife and I got married, I was overwhelmed by the cake. That's the one thing that overwhelmed us. We stupidly went to all the bakers in one weekend, and I was overeating all the cakes by the last couple bakers. And I was overwhelmed. So that was my.

Laura Brezel (16:0.023)

That was your thing, huh?

August Yocher (16:0.610)

The cake? Why?

August Yocher (: 16:14

I feel like that's always the scene you see in movies or in TV shows, like when they're wedding planning. It's always them eating like 10 pieces of cake. Like you don't see anything else, it's always the cake.

Laura Brezel (: 16:18

you

Laura Brezel (: 16:25

Right. And then being like, yeah. Right. Exactly. Exactly. No, I mean, really what you should do if you're feeling overwhelmed is you should get professional help. That's why we're here. That's honestly why we're here. Right. Get professional help. know, no, look, I love to present a couple with, Hey, so says we all.

Kevin Dennis (: 16:28

That was on Father the Bride.

August Yocher (: 16:29

And then they go with the store-buy cake, you know? It's always the same trope.

August Yocher (: 16:40

haha

Get professional help, Kevin!

Kevin Dennis (: 16:47

We all know I need that.

Laura Brezel (: 16:53

to present my couples with like two or three potential vendors in a category. I don't need them scrolling through 25 potential bakers or photographers or videographers without knowing the questions to ask. And I like to remind them, I come back to our initial call or our initial meeting, what they told me the purpose of the day was. And when they get off track or they get overwhelmed, I like to help them remember, okay, does that decision serve your vision? Right? Also,

August Yocher (: 17:14

Mm-hmm.

August Yocher (: 17:22

love the way you said that. Does this decision serve your vision?

Laura Brezel (: 17:24

Yeah, that's what's important. Does this decision serve your vision? Right? And sometimes you have to make a decision that you don't like very much. That's okay. Like, oh, all the cousins? Really? Okay. It's true. And then you have to. And that's, you you understand. But you're making the decision with your vision in mind. Also, when couples are overwhelmed or have an overwhelmed moment, like somewhere down the line,

August Yocher (: 17:28

I love that.

Kevin Dennis (: 17:36

Yeah.

Laura Brezel (: 17:52

to make sure that whole cadence of communication with the vendors isn't overwhelming for them. And that means sometimes that I talk to the vendor first and filter out some of the questions that the couple has no idea that they need to answer or shouldn't know that they need to answer. So the couple can talk to me about their vision and then I talk to the details to the vendor with the details. And then we can come back and have a shorter, more succinct meeting with everybody. But everybody has the background that they need.

You know, like I don't need to sit with a caterer and a couple and discuss the difference between a nine and a half or 10 inch plate. They don't care, right? They don't need to know that.

August Yocher (: 18:30

Yeah. Well, that's where the time saving comes in, right? You kind of did the legwork for them and now they're just talking about what they need to.

August Yocher (: 18:44

Perfect. Okay, do you think you can share with us a few more real life examples of how hiring a planner early on really saved the day and just saved the couple that time, and stress?

Laura Brezel (: 18:58

Totally. Let me give you a great example of a couple who came to me early, I mean, with each other and not really any farther down the line. It's my favorite, right? Start from the beginning, love it. But they had a venue in mind that they loved. So we also went through all their shared vision, their guest list and their budget and those things that they said they wanted.

Kevin Dennis (: 19:13

No.

Laura Brezel (: 19:28

just did not work with that venue. It was like a place where there was a single room. There was no space for guests to go during the transition between ceremony to cocktail hour, cocktail hour to dinner. So they really loved this, but they didn't understand how that was not going to serve their vision. They couldn't see and like, well, it's just a big room. Why does it matter? And part of what I wanted to do is give them that kind of magic flow that happens when you have

August Yocher (: 19:30

Hmm.

Laura Brezel (: 19:56

My favorite is three distinct spaces. Ceremony, cocktail, dinner. Dinner and ceremony can be the same if you flip. I love a good flip, but if we have the time and the right people to do it.

Kevin Dennis (20:6.516)

I love a good flip.

Kevin Dennis (: 20:11

Yes.

August Yocher (: 20:11

gets the adrenaline pumping. That one little hour is like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Laura Brezel (: 20:13

now be like let's go!

Mm-hmm, exactly. Be like, oh!

Kevin Dennis (: 20:18

My favorite part of my and my favorite part of the flip is watching the guests walk in and like their faces like wow like like Just seeing the face. Yeah. Yeah

August Yocher (: 20:26

We were just here!

Laura Brezel (: 20:26

Yes, that. Yes, that piece of magic, right? That piece of magic where the guests go, oh, this just had an altar and now it has tables. Oh my God, that's so great. So, I mean, I was able to suggest to this couple like a different venue that had a similar feel, but it had those three areas. They were totally thrilled. I mean, the point of working with a planner early is to get the guidance you need.

based on what you want so you're not wasting time and money making mistakes that you have to fix later. a signed contract is a signed contract is a signed contract.

August Yocher (: 20:58

Yeah.

August Yocher (21:3.714)

Yeah, and imagine if they did pick that place. Like, I don't think they probably would have figured out those negative logistics until way later on. And then, you know, they're just like kind of dealing with the space that's not going to fit the guests or the guest experience or the flow of the day.

Laura Brezel (21:7.210)

No!

Laura Brezel (: 21:20

Exactly.

Kevin Dennis (: 21:23

So something that couples I don't think always get to enjoy their wedding so I Because they have a lot of stress going on but I feel when they have a planner they do so can you explain to everyone? Why having a planner there relieves a lot of that stress?

Laura Brezel (: 21:39

Absolutely.

one has to make decisions on the wedding day. Decisions, little decisions from like, okay, the invitation was for three o'clock, we're going to step off for the ceremony at 323. Oh, I'm serious. And that's going to look like this. And here are the people and here's how that's going to go. And we've expected this to take 16 minutes and it's going to take 22. So I've told the caterer to hold the hors d'oeuvres and the bartender is not yet shaking ice because I can hear that from the ceremony. And

Kevin Dennis (: 22:10

That drives me nuts.

Laura Brezel (: 22:10

All of these, it drives me insane, and all of these little things that are hopefully planned all in advance and you're kind of waiting for something to go wrong, right, on the day, and handling it before the couple knows about it. I mean, unless it's like a table falling over, which has happened, I have seen that happen.

Most things that go wrong are going to be something when you have a planner there that the couple never knows about. I mean, I will tell my couples eight weeks later when we're looking at the photos, you will never guess this most hilarious thing that happened that you didn't know about. When they don't have to worry about that, when they can actually do the most important job of the day, which is being married, being present, having a great time, just having a blast.

That's their job. That's all that takes their whole mind and body and soul to do that. Right. They don't need to be worried about like, well, has the water been poured yet? No, that's not important to them. They need to not be stressed about that. And having a planner on your team is basically the person who would make all of the decisions that you would make if you were not busy being the most important people in the room.

August Yocher (: 23:17

Mm-hmm.

August Yocher (: 23:30

And sometimes I like to put, you get to enjoy it. And sometimes I like to put myself in the shoes of, let's say you are that couple that didn't hire or plan it, right? They're like, it's okay, my friend's gonna handle it the day of. And let's picture this. It's like you get engaged, you start planning, you spend months upon months hiring vendors, picking out your tablecloths, making your menus, putting all of this insane amount of work into your wedding.

Kevin Dennis (: 23:30

and you get to enjoy.

August Yocher (24:0.718)

and you did all this work on the front end and you get to the day of, and then you're still the one who's working? Like imagine that, would that not just suck? Like don't you wanna be present in the moment and just enjoy and have someone else take care of all of that? Someone who's been there from the beginning, who knows all the details, who knows everything about the day? Like that would just be really unfortunate if you just didn't get to enjoy the day at all.

Laura Brezel (: 24:26

Totally agree, totally agree, August.

Kevin Dennis (: 24:28

Well, I had a bride one time we were doing a wedding and she had the timeline. She didn't have a planner. She had the timeline on her sweetheart table and she was like micromanaging her wedding and it was just like at one. Well, no, yeah. And I looked at her and I said, and I said, girl, I said, this is how it's going to go down. You're giving me that piece of paper and you're going to sit back and relax. You're going to enjoy this wedding. I go, you have us wedding professionals here. I go, we will make sure everything happens. You.

Laura Brezel (: 24:40

baby.

August Yocher (: 24:43

No, literally.

Kevin Dennis (: 24:56

I go, everything doesn't always happen to the minute that is set on that piece of paper. that's because we're in the wedding industry, we're the greatest at improvisation. That's what we are. We improv and we make it up and that's what we do. And so you just need to relax. And I think having someone there is just that gives you that avenue to relax. I'm going to just relax.

Laura Brezel (25:7.327)

You

Laura Brezel (: 25:23

Yeah, absolutely. yeah, we are the great yes and crew. It's true. Things don't need to happen at exactly seven o'clock. We have to go into dinner. Okay. That's another reason I don't always love putting up a schedule for guests to see because there's always that one person who's like, it says seven o'clock dinner and it is 7.03. Yes, yes it is.

August Yocher (: 25:29

Yes and...

Kevin Dennis (: 25:36

Yeah.

August Yocher (: 25:48

think they're cute, but just don't put the timestamps on there, right? Like you can put the order of events, like cocktail hour, dinner, cake, dancing. That's fine, but I agree with you because I've had people come up to me too and be like, it's seven. I'm like, great, they're taking sunset photos. What would you like me to do? Like, it's just the way the day flowed and it's not that serious.

Laura Brezel (26:2.217)

Yeah.

Laura Brezel (26:5.870)

Right, right, right.

Kevin Dennis (: 26:11

Well, and the guests, if they didn't know the time, they would have no idea that they weren't supposed to. Yeah, yeah. And that's, yeah, I agree. We were, I

Laura Brezel (: 26:11

Great.

Laura Brezel (: 26:15

they would have no idea.

August Yocher (: 26:16

No.

Laura Brezel (: 26:18

good reminder too for couples like when they're making decisions and they're like oh should I get this pink napkin or this pink napkin or this one is a dollar more like your guests will not know that you had that choice they won't know

Kevin Dennis (: 26:31

I tell our couples that all the time. You're the only one that has seen all the choices, and if it doesn't fit the budget, don't do it.

Laura Brezel (: 26:35

That's right. Don't do it.

August Yocher (: 26:38

Yeah, they won't know if you got rid of something because it wasn't there in the first place. If you didn't do the customized cocktail napkins, they won't know. Yeah, yeah. And a planner will help you, you know, figure all of that out.

Laura Brezel (: 26:42

wasn't there. Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly.

Laura Brezel (: 26:54

We'll help you figure all that out and if you have wanted customized cocktail napkins with you know your two dogs on it from the beginning before you got married Great, that's wonderful. You can absolutely have that we're not here to be like you have to have the wedding We want you to have absolutely not we want you to have the wedding that you want to have

August Yocher (: 27:14

Yeah. Well, and I think too, I know we kind of started this conversation with, you know, how does hiring a planner help the couple relax? But I think it not only helps the couple relax, but also the wedding party and also the family. And I know I talked about this a couple of episodes ago, but my little sister just got married recently. And, you know, I helped with a few things because, you know, I have a background in that, but.

I kept asking my mom and my sister, like, let me know what I can help with. Like, I'm here if you need anything. And they were like, no, we got it, we got it. And then, you know, we get to the day up. And of course, overall, it was beautiful. It was a great wedding. Like everything went amazing. But after the fact, my mom was like, I can see why a planner was a good idea. Because she said, I just couldn't sit and enjoy the moment because like me and her were cutting cake and we were.

Laura Brezel (28:3.035)

why a planner was a good idea.

Laura Brezel (: 28:11

Thank you.

August Yocher (: 28:12

you know, making sure the buffet line was moving because we had just catered dropped off food. And, and, you know, I wasn't, I never try like, you know, and I maybe you guys do this too, like as a wedding professional, you never want to assume that like, they need your help. You're like, okay, I'm here if you need me, but like, you do you boo, you know, but I just thought it was so funny that my mom was like, I just kind of wish we did have a planner because I kind of wanted to be more in the moment. And I think.

You have to think about your family too, right? Like, yes, of course you the couple want to enjoy the day, but what about your mom? What about your dad? What about your wedding party? They also want to be there and share that moment with you.

Laura Brezel (: 28:42

Yeah.

Laura Brezel (: 28:49

Exactly. Exactly.

They're honored guests too, right? I mean, I've had parents who were deeply suspicious that their kid had hired a wedding planner. They were like, that seems like a waste of money. And at the end of the wedding, they thanked me profusely because they got it. They saw, here's what I did. And that's just what they saw. That's just on the surface, what they saw to make their kids have the best day. And they were finally so happy that they got the sense to be like, oh yeah. And then I got to actually sit and eat cake instead of.

August Yocher (: 28:55

Mm-hmm.

August Yocher (: 29:14

Mm-hmm.

Laura Brezel (: 29:23

cut cake and figure out how to do that. Which, look, it's not, we're not trying to say everybody has to do everything in a way that we're going to tell you. We're trying to make it actually fit each couple. That's the point.

August Yocher (: 29:26

Yeah.

August Yocher (: 29:38

Well, and I think we're just here to educate, right? Like a lot of couples, obviously most people only get married once or this is their first time going in and they just don't know what to do and you don't really know until you go through it. And a lot of friends who I've had got married said, oh, I wish I could go back and change this. So we really just want the podcast just to be an education tool for couples so they know what they're getting themselves into.

Laura Brezel (: 29:40

Thank

Laura Brezel (30:6.761)

That's amazing.

Kevin Dennis (30:9.332)

was gonna say too, one thing you forgot August is it's the creative partners are more at ease and relaxed.

August Yocher (: 30:16

Mm, yes, when there's a planner present, yes.

Laura Brezel (: 30:18

Yeah, I always say that when I'm meeting like a new vendor of any category, say, and I'll say this in front of the couple too, my primary goal or my primary reason of being here is to represent the couple. And then very next is to make you, the DJ, the photographer, the caterer, your life easier. That is absolutely my job. Because if I can tell you, oh, we're running 10 minutes late for the...

from the ceremony, so don't get those appetizers going, right? Nobody, people getting married are a little busy. They can't tell you that, right?

August Yocher (: 30:54

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I wanted to ask, because I used to, you know, be a coordinator at a venue and I'm getting everything you're saying. And I would always try as well to just like be the sponge, not only for the couple, but for the creative partners as well. But you almost feel like you're just like sprinting all day. It's like, OK, I got to tell the photographer we're going 10 minutes behind. OK, I got to tell the caterer that. Don't bring out the food yet. You're just like, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Laura Brezel (31:0.543)

Yeah.

August Yocher (: 31:22

And it's a lot, but then, you know, when you're the one taking all that on, it just really makes the day, you know, less stressful for everyone. So I'm glad you brought that up, Kevin, because it isn't just the couple, it isn't just the family, it's also the creative partners that benefit from having a planner as well.

Kevin Dennis (: 31:42

Yep, I'm always more relaxed when we have a planner.

Laura Brezel (: 31:48

It's really important to have that team.

Kevin Dennis (: 31:51

I agree. All right. What are some of the small details that couples you think always like miss that make a big difference?

Laura Brezel (32:1.877)

Oh, that's interesting. So one thing that I think couples are really looking for, the couples that come to me are looking for, is guest experience. Right? Because look, if it's just about you and the person you're marrying, go to the courthouse, spend $108, you are done, right? But it's not, it's about your community, your family, your friends. So you want to do the things that work for you, but also...

Be sure that you're really thinking about your guests as you're planning this. things like if your ceremony and your reception are in different locations, well, can you provide transportation for your guests? Is the time between when the ceremony ends and the reception begins, could that not be three hours? Could we have something for them to do in between? And then also, I always ask early on if there's anything on the guest list.

Kevin Dennis (: 32:49

I'm

Laura Brezel (: 32:58

who might need any accessibility accommodations, like clear pathway for wheelchair, quiet room in case things get too loud, anything that we want to be really sensitive to that somebody may or may not need, but isn't it great that we have it if they do? And then also one little thing that I really like to recommend, and this does feel a little bit formal to some people, is assigning seats, not just tables, so that your guests feel like, oh, they thought about me.

Kevin Dennis (: 33:11

Yeah.

August Yocher (: 33:23

Mm.

Laura Brezel (: 33:26

here's my menu or my place card or whatever and everybody's going to know. mean, let me tell you, makes it easier on your caterer. It makes it easier on so many things, but also your guests don't have that feeling of this is my first day in the new seventh grade cafeteria and where do I go? You, they want to know that you thought of them, right? They want to know that it's important to you that out of those 8 billion people, you picked them to come to this wedding.

August Yocher (: 33:41

Hahaha

Kevin Dennis (: 33:42

You

August Yocher (: 33:51

We are big advocates for the seating chart and the assigned seating.

Kevin Dennis (: 33:52

love it.

Laura Brezel (: 33:56

And if they move, they move, right? But that's okay. You want them to be really comfortable. Like you're sure that, I should have been at this wedding because it's great and they wanted me here.

August Yocher (: 34:10

Yeah, and I really like the ADA, you know, making sure that, you know, people who may be sensitive to loud noises or, you know, maybe elderly people have a place that they can sit as well. I think that's so important because, you know, that is definitely a minor thing that people don't think about and having a planner, you know, they have a plan B or, you know, at my old venue, we would also get like breastfeeding people, you know, like, where do we go? Like,

We have a wedding suite right here. We have a lounge over here. So that's important as well because those are little things you might not think about. And if they're coming up to the day of, we already have a plan in place.

Laura Brezel (: 34:47

Right, right, and it's really important that you know things about things like, you know, lactation room or, or quiet room or whatever so that you have something available because that, you never want to have a guest have a kind of, maybe not emergency, but an issue that if you could have known about it ahead of time, that's going to help a lot.

Kevin Dennis (: 35:10

Yeah, I agree.

August Yocher (: 35:16

Okay. Kevin, should we get into our top takeaways from the episode today?

Kevin Dennis (: 35:22

Well, I think mine is simple. It's you got to hire Laura from the beginning. I it really, I think, mean, well, but I mean, if you think about it, it's just, that's what it comes down. It's just, you need that help and guidance and it's, you know, you only do this one. Most people only do it once, you know, so you want to make sure you do it right. So that's the biggest thing is you need the help to go through it because you don't know what you're doing. You know, it's, like,

August Yocher (: 35:27

Yep. Specifically Laura.

Kevin Dennis (: 35:49

It's like buying a house or buy, know, go think of any other big life, you know, moments. You don't know what you're doing because you only do them once and once most of the time.

August Yocher (36:1.294)

Well, and I want to expand on that too. And you may think you know what you're doing. Like maybe you've been a maid of honor or you've helped out with a wedding, but you really don't. Okay. Like you don't please. Like, I mean, even just listening to this episode, I'm sure there was probably like five or six things that Laura said that you were like, oh, I didn't think about that. Or, I didn't think about that. And, you know, and with every different vendor, with every different venue, there comes a whole

Kevin Dennis (: 36:10

Oh.

August Yocher (: 36:30

bunch of different logistics that you didn't think about because they're specific to that creative partner or to that space. someone who has a lot of experience and has dealt with so many different types of situations, they're not even second guessing it. It's just muscle memory to them at this point, right? These planners know exactly what they're doing and they're gonna guide you towards your vision. And I think that's something you have to think about. So, how do I put this?

in a nice way, like you probably don't know what you're doing. I don't know how to say that nicer, but...

Laura Brezel (37:7.677)

get your point August and I think also what's here is you know for people who have been a maid of honor 27 times or whatever that's great and you've been in a lot of weddings wouldn't you like to enjoy the next wedding you're in or yours?

Kevin Dennis (: 37:19

Yeah, yes. Well, and it's someone that's freshly been married, has lots of opinions. Well, at my wedding, at my wedding, and finally I'll look at him and go, this isn't your wedding. This is a completely, yeah.

August Yocher (: 37:21

Yep, that's it.

Laura Brezel (: 37:22

How about that?

August Yocher (: 37:32

Newsflash!

Laura Brezel (: 37:33

I know, I know. That's a really important piece. That's a really important piece because we all look at everything through our own paradigm, through our own perspective. And we say, here's what everything has to be. Ha ha, turn the looking glass and scene. you really have to, what's gonna be the best choice for this couple? I mean, I feel like my takeaway is to always remember.

August Yocher (: 37:36

Yeah.

August Yocher (: 37:44

Looking glass.

Laura Brezel (: 37:57

That second thing I do, which is to make the whole vendor team and everybody have a better day and to make the whole family and wedding party have a better day because we're all on the same page about what we're giving this couple.

Kevin Dennis (: 38:12

I call it team couple. We're all on team couple.

August Yocher (: 38:15

Team couple! Woo! Yeah. Well, yeah, I guess that's kind of my takeaway. I know I kind of piggybacked off of Kevin, but... And I really like your... How dare you? You need professional help, Kevin. And I like Laura's point, too. Don't you just want to enjoy the day? Like, girl, sit back. You've done 27 weddings. Just enjoy your friend's wedding.

Kevin Dennis (: 38:26

Cheater.

Kevin Dennis (: 38:31

I do.

So true, so true.

Laura Brezel (: 38:43

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Really? seen that in a long time. 27 dresses.

Kevin Dennis (: 38:45

I just saw that movie the other day too.

August Yocher (: 38:45

So.

What a movie.

Kevin Dennis (: 38:49

27 it was on like One of the one of the channels and I just got anytime there's a wedding movie I get stuck so You have not seen that one. Oh my god

August Yocher (: 38:51

Oh.

August Yocher (: 38:57

It's on my list. I haven't seen that one yet. So, okay. What did I tell you? What did I tell you? Okay, Laura, an audience for your reference. I'm doing this New Year's resolution thing where I try to watch a new movie a week, but it's been more than that because I am tired of people like Kevin when I say I haven't seen this movie and they go, oh my gosh, you've never seen that. And I'm tired of it. So I'm working on it. I'm recovering.

Laura Brezel (: 38:59

Oh, okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Laura Brezel (: 39:20

Yeah. Yeah.

August Yocher (: 39:24

Give me a sec. So it's on my list. I'm getting there, Kevin.

Laura Brezel (: 39:26

No problem. No problem. If you need recommendations, you just let us know.

Kevin Dennis (: 39:26

You got it, girl.

August Yocher (: 39:32

will. Yeah, I'd actually put something on my Instagram story. Tell me your favorite movies so I can watch them. But but yeah, Laura, if you got any text away girl text away.

Laura Brezel (: 39:37

Oh god, I have to go to church. So many, so many.

Kevin Dennis (: 39:44

You got lore excited there.

August Yocher (: 39:46

She had her phone out, she was ready to go!

Laura Brezel (: 39:46

I I'm ready. Like, we're talking movies? Great, let's talk about them.

Kevin Dennis (: 39:52

All right, Laura, what's your? Well, I'm glad you had fun. All right, so we always ask our couple or our couple. You're not our couple, our guests. I, you know, I'm allowed to mess up every once in while. So we always ask our guests what's their favorite part of a wedding because I think it's different for everybody. So what is Laura's favorite part of a wedding?

Laura Brezel (: 39:53

This has been really, really fun.

Thank you.

August Yocher (40:3.484)

Oh.

August Yocher (40:7.552)

No.

Laura Brezel (: 40:14

Oh, my favorite part of a wedding is when I send them down the aisle, if they're using the aisle, to get to the ceremony. I love that moment because it means everything is calm, everything is started, and the day still has so much possibility. I just love it. It's so, I mean, it makes me feel a little teary and it makes me so thrilled for them.

Kevin Dennis (: 40:36

I love it.

Laura Brezel (: 40:44

That's my favorite.

Kevin Dennis (: 40:45

Plus you get a moment with I was gonna say you get a moment with them before they even walk down the aisle so that's even really precious too.

August Yocher (: 40:46

Well, and you just have... Oh, go ahead, Kevin.

Laura Brezel (: 40:53

right that's right and I usually get to say to them something like you're beautiful this is a great idea have a wonderful time right because there are lots of folks who are like oh now I'm gonna throw up right that's fair but I just I love that moment yeah

August Yocher (: 40:59

Hmm

Kevin Dennis (41:0.670)

Yeah.

Kevin Dennis (41:8.680)

People that are shy.

August Yocher (: 41:11

I think it's just so just special and meaningful. Like not only have you just spent a lot of time with them, but the way that I always thought of it was is, wow, I get to share just a small piece of this day with them. I get to share like a small, you know, piece of their life. And I was here on the most important day and sending them down. And it's just like such a special feeling that you got to just share that with them.

Laura Brezel (: 41:37

Absolutely. mean, room reveals are great. First dance is incredible. Cake cutting is super fun. But there's something about that moment that's kind of the most profound, right? You're standing up, you're walking down if you were, that's what you're doing. And you're standing up in front of all of these people and you're saying, choose this person. I mean, that's why we do it. That's very emotional. That's it. No, or at least we hope not.

August Yocher (: 41:49

Mm-hmm.

Kevin Dennis (: 41:49

I agree.

Kevin Dennis (: 41:57

Well, and the wheels are in motion at that point. Yeah, there's no going backwards at that point.

August Yocher (: 41:59

Mm-hmm.

Kevin Dennis (42:6.386)

Well, that's true, you could, but...

August Yocher (42:7.114)

Yeah, you walk down the aisle not back up, please

Laura Brezel (: 42:11

Yeah. What's your favorite part?

Kevin Dennis (: 42:13

All right. Mine is the speeches ever since I had kids, the parents speeches, because I'm constantly thinking of what I'm going to say when my kids get married. So I don't know. And sometimes I'll even be like bawling, crying. know, like I don't even know. I know them as little that I know them, you know, but it's like I'll be sitting there and someone gives me a good emotional speech. I got tears out of the eyes. So.

Laura Brezel (: 42:18

Nice. Oh, I love that.

Kevin Dennis (: 42:41

And it wasn't until I had kids, so.

Laura Brezel (: 42:45

I love that.

Kevin Dennis (: 42:46

Yeah. all right. Well, Laura, how do how do our guests find you? Contact you? How are you?

Laura Brezel (: 42:55

am on the places. You can find me at OFRABJESTAYEVENTS.COM on Instagram, on my website. I try to limit too many social medias because that's not that fun for me. You can find me here in the Bay and I would love to chat with you to see what you think about your wedding and what your plans are.

Kevin Dennis (: 43:10

No.

Kevin Dennis (: 43:22

Love it.

August Yocher (: 43:22

And maybe she'll recite the poem for you, you know?

Laura Brezel (: 43:25

Yeah, I can recite Jabberwocky for you whenever you want.

Kevin Dennis (: 43:26

Only if you're lucky. Love it. All right, folks, well, thank you. Thank you, Laura, for being here. And thank you all our listeners for listening to another episode of Now That I'm Engaged, How Do I Get Married? Don't forget to go out and like us and review us. And on all the different platforms, we really, really appreciate it. And we'll see you next time on another episode of Now That I'm Engaged, How Do I Get Married? Thanks, Laura.

August Yocher (: 43:28

You

Laura Brezel (: 43:51

Thanks.